


Dr. Calliope & Mr. Caliborn

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Historical AU, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Multiple Personalities, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 21:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1873527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miss Calliope Makara has a horrible secret and she confides in her friend Jane Crocker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dr. Calliope & Mr. Caliborn

**Author's Note:**

> I did this for a prompt in the HSWC 2014 Bonus Round 4 but as I was finishing, I re-read the prompt and saw it called for Calliope & _Roxy_. Oops. I'm not sure how to rewrite it so I'm just going give up the points. I hope you enjoy what I have.

Miss Jane Crocker looked up to her friend Miss Calliope Makara, but many people looked down on Miss Calliope due to prejudice. Her adopted father, though he kept her in good accommodations, was an actor in a travelling commedia dell’arte troupe. People said horrible things about people in the theater trade and assumed Signor Gamzee must be a smuggler or a spy or even a pimp. There were rumors he killed a married couple and that’s why he traveled all over Europe. People also looked down on Miss Calliope due to her looks. Her brow was heavy but hairless, her nose was flat, her eyes were sunken in, her jaw was powerful, her canines were long and sharp, and her skin had a strange green pallor. Since she was a foundling, people gossiped about her parentage and theorized she was from a long-line of incestuous couplings or even that she was a demon.  Miss Jane thought this all was ridiculous. Miss Jane had met Signor Gamzee and while she didn’t think much of the drunk he seemed a harmless clown and not a criminal. Miss Jane had to admit Calliope was very ugly, but she was lovely in spirit and that was all that mattered. She certainly couldn’t be a demon. She was a gentle soul who mourned the loss of a bird or a mouse. Jane didn’t care who Calliope’s real parents were. Any sin of theirs was not reflected on her daughter. Jane believed that Calliope was the sweetest, most intelligent lady in all of Edinburgh.

 

However, Calliope let all the cruel language of people get to her. She cloistered herself in her house and avoided all social events. She didn’t even attend church, though she did know much about theology. Her servants did all her errands for her or she would have people come to her house instead. It was because of this practice that Jane met Calliope. Jane ran a bakery, passed down to her from her father. Miss Makara had ordered bread and only Jane had been available to deliver it. She ended up catching the mistress of the house instead of a servant. Calliope was horrified but Jane wasn’t. So Jane became friends with the young woman and spent many an hour with her. She hoped that one day, Calliope wouldn’t be afraid to go outside. For now, she would tell her stories to tempt her to go outside. Calliope much enjoyed gossip about lovers.

 

Besides lovers, Calliope was sometimes interested in rather eclectic stories. She always wanted to know what was happening in the sphere of natural philosophy. Jane didn’t know much about the subject, but she would attend lectures for her friend’s sake. More worrying was Calliope’s interest in macabre crime stories. Jane was interested in them too, but she didn’t think it was an appropriate discussion topic for an agoraphobic young lady. Jane eventually gave in when it came to the mysterious man called Lord English. It was her who brought it up in her over-excitement, so she figured she might as well follow through and report his sightings.

 

Jane told her about how he would carouse all along the Royal Mile, drinking at every tavern, beating up every man and grabbing every woman, and throwing insults to everyone high or low. However, when the police came to arrest him, he would always disappear into the night. He seemed to have an unlimited supply of money and he dressed in a fine rainbow colored coat. He introduced himself as Lord English and even though no one believed that was his name, that was what he was dubbed.

 

It was just another afternoon when Jane found out why Calliope was so interested in Lord English. Jane was brought by a servant to the parlor where Calliope was already sitting. Calliope wore her normal heavy makeup and a wig (though wigs were going out of style) with a lovely green gown. Even with no one around, she liked to dress that way. There was tea ready for them. Jane started talking, but Calliope was distracted.

 

“So I said to her, I said…” Jane chatted.

 

“Excuse me!” Calliope squeaked, “Have you heard any news of Lord English?”

 

Jane didn’t mind her rudeness and immediately answered. “Gee golly, I certainly have. Smashing news! It seems the elusive man was wounded in his escape! First, his canines were knocked out, then he was cut in his foot!”

 

“His right foot?” Calliope asked.

 

“Yes, that’s correct! He won’t be getting into much trouble in a long time! He might need to get his foot amputated!”

 

“They think the injury is that bad?”

 

“We’ll need to catch him first to find out. Perhaps the surgeon will turn him in? That will be the end of that story.” Jane sighed. “It would be a rather anti-climactic ending, but it will still be a good ending. Edinburgh can breathe safe.”

 

Calliope had been shaking while Jane went on and the phobic lady fell from her chair when Jane said “breathe safe”. Jane rushed to her side. She then caught eye of her fallen friend’s exposed right ankle. Through the heavy bandages, she could see blood.

 

When Calliope came to, she muttered, “Oh no, the fine china…”

 

“Forget the silly old china!” Jane cried, “What happened to your right limb?”

 

“I told you, I twisted it. Do you not believe me?”

 

“You didn’t twist your ankle! I know I saw blood!”

 

Calliope sat up and saw her ankle. “It’s nothing, I merely cut my ankle when I twisted it.”

 

“You need new bandages! Let me get some for you!”

 

Calliope turned her head to her friend, “I’ll tend to myself when you leave.”

 

“I am not going to leave a dear friend!”

 

“You must leave!” Calliope growled.

 

Jane was scared but she paid enough attention to her injured friend’s bared teeth to notice her friend was missing her canines.

 

“Calliope, did you pull out your teeth?”

 

She turned her head away. “I decided I did not want them anymore.”

 

Jane scolded. “Good teeth are hard to come by, Calliope. You should have done that.”

 

“But it is done,” Calliope said solemnly.

 

At this, the maid and the butler came in. The maid and Jane helped Calliope back into her chair. The butler scowled at Jane.

 

“My lady does not want to see you again,” he said to Jane when Calliope was back in her chair.

 

“Arthur!” Calliope cried, “I want no such thing!”

 

“I’m sorry miss, I just assumed with your poor health you’d…”

 

“Please leave. Both you and Columbia.”

 

The butler and the maid left.

 

“Jane, sit back in your chair and listen carefully. I have a secret to confess.”

 

Jane went back to her chair and prepared to listen carefully.

 

Calliope began, “I am not a single birth. There is a male twin of me and he is named Caliborn. He resides not in a separate body, but instead shares one with me. You see, I was born with the…anatomy…of the two sexes.”

 

Jane tried not to look disgusted and she was afraid she failed.

 

“My dear adopted father, after finding me in a basket in the river, christened this body as female under the name Calliope. The body was a temperamental, but our naïve father thought nothing of it, since infants are often capricious. However, when the body was about three years old, it would declare itself Caliborn. This Caliborn would act ferociously, but when the body got tired, it would again answer to Calliope. For as long as I can remember, I have sensed Caliborn’s presence in my body and I have communicated with him from time to time, but when he is in total control, I have no awareness of what he does. Oh my, I hope this all makes sense, it’s dreadfully confusing.”

 

“I think I understand. You have a demon inside you.”

 

“People said I had a demon in me. My father brought the body to many different holy men to be exorcised. Protestant, Catholic, Orthodox, even Jewish and Mohammedan! Alas, there was no result. My father figured Caliborn was a human person. As foolish as my father is, I think he is right. As horrible as Caliborn is, he is human.

 

“My father decided to embrace his son as well as his daughter. I think he sees some of himself in Caliborn. I do not share his opinion. I have my whole life tried to keep him down as hard as I can, but I fear he is taking over my body.”

 

Jane gasped.

 

Calliope said, “Don’t speak. I know you have already guessed that Caliborn is the one called Lord English. It is obvious.”

 

“Um…I didn’t guess that.”

 

“Oh. Well then, Caliborn is Lord English.”

 

“Oh no! What can be done?”

 

“I have contemplated suicide, but I am afraid to do it. What if suicide only kills me and not Caliborn? I am at a loss to what to do.”

 

Jane rushed over to Calliope’s side and grabbed her hand.

 

“Don’t worry, we can get through this together!”

 

Calliope smiled with her missing canines.


End file.
